ADULT LIFE: NAH THANK YOU

It's been about three weeks since I started working at a real person 9 to 5 job. And let me tell you... it's been HELL trying to wake up at the butt crack of dawn. But my job is pretty laid-back so far because my boss is on holiday and won't come back until the end of this month. However, my co-worker is the Complete Opposite of me and is basically the exact kind of person I would never ever befriend in a million years. We share an office so I have to listen to her play Unbreak My Heart on repeat. I wish I was joking.

Unfortunately, I did the mistake of complaining about my coworker to my boss then I freaked out and begged him not to tell her in which he replied "I am the CEO!". Like, ain't nobody got time for your petty shit, whoops! And he gave a billion of assignments to finish as a punishment for my inability to grow up and get the fuck over myself.

I guess part of growing up is realizing that you have to coexist with people you are not very fond of.

Having a job also made me painfully aware of how awkward, introverted and robotic I am. I just can't for the life of me make genuine small talk that doesn't sound forced. I get anxious everyday in the elevator worrying about how I'm going to say good morning to the receptionists. GUYS, I'M NORMAL AND I HAVE REAL FRIENDS, I SWEAR! I'M SORRY, PLEASE DON'T THINK I'M WEIRD!!! I just don't want the staff to think I'm a baby who lacks social skills and wonder why and how I got the job and instead think "WOW! What a great addition to the company. She's lovely and charming. And also very cute!" 

Outside of work, I have been super overwhelmed with bills because now I am responsible for paying bills, rent and feeding and clothing myself. I don't really have it together yet, my place is a complete mess and I don't have a dining table to eat off of. BUT the kitchen is finally COMPLETE with a fridge, pizza maker, microwave, oven and basically all essential kitchen appliances. I can't help but feel so smug about all of this. I have done so much in such a short period of time. I'm also pretty amazed at my self control and spending habits recently. 

Realistically, I probably won't be happy until a year from now when I finally have enough money saved up to buy material shit and some make up. Also, by then, my skin would have been totally cleared up and soft as a baby's bum and my hair will look long, healthy and shiny.

My goals for February:

1- buy a dining table

2- buy a door frame to block noise

3- buy curtains for the living room

4- be a better daughter?