I did everything out of my comfort zone. I got a job, met new people, attempted social life (and actually kind of loved it), got my own place, paid for my food... Yet I have accomplished N O T H I N G. I just succeeded in living back home and regressing further into the emotional maturity and angst of a tween girl.
It sucks when you realize no matter how happy you are or how much therapy you do, it just takes one shitty thing to bring you back to that state of severe depression. I really doubt I can ever feel secure/happy/fulfilled in anything... Like I am just built to be sad or some fucked up shit. I AM CURSED.
I'm just trying to be happy and grateful for the people I have chosen to have in my life. I'll never ever forget those interactions, laughs, tears... etc. I had this revelation last night when I was wine drunk singing "Alright"
I'm probably going to get Thai take out and drink some more and watch sad movies in my sweats and pretend that doing all of this was decision I made.
